Details Details Details

I chose the theme over at The Round Robin Photo Challenges this week: Focus on the Details!

Sometimes when I'm feeling not-so-inpired to take photos, I find that I just have to look a little closer. Zooming in on something can reveal interesting details that you may not notice at first glance.

I checked out a local hiking trail recently. It wasn't all that picturesque, but I enjoyed photographing the details of an old barn along the trail. I loved that the barn was blue, instead of the usual red...

and I like how the color weathered around the old hinges...

and the colors of the planks on the wall most exposed to the elements...

Even the old rusted farm equipment made for interesting compositions when I got up close to it...

Of course I spent plenty of time photographing the birds...

And the chipmunks running around...

But when they weren't cooperating, I focussed in on some of the old logs they were hiding out in...

I may go back again and see what else I can find. But this time I'll make sure I smother myself in bugspray so I don't have to run for my life on the way out of there. The tripod, camera bag and backpack were all slowing me down as I tried desperately to escape the onslaught of mosquitos...

"The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." - Henry Miller

Special Memories

In celebration of her 25^th birthday today, my friend Silverneurotic is hosting a blog carnival. Her blog buddies were invited to share their most “vivid or special memories of the past 25 years.”

Hmm… 25 years ago I was 12 years old. A skinny tomboy of a kid with a love for Nancy Drew books, her various pets (cats, dogs, hamsters, gerbils, fish… you name it) and building forts in the backyard. I’ve been trying to record lots of my childhood memories here.

But what would qualify as the most special from the past 25 years?

Although I have lots of happy memories from the decade between 12 and 22, the best adventure of my life began 3 days before my 22^nd birthday, the day my daughter was born.

One of the many advantages of being a single mom is that your precious little offspring ends up being a lot like you.

If mine didn’t come into the world with an innate love of nature and sense of adventure, she developed both qualities soon thereafter.

I remember taking her to the local pool when she was three months old. I set up her little bouncy seat in the shade under a tree, and she wore her little pink sunglasses and beach hat, and she had a blast watching the leaves blowing above her head in the breeze. A woman approached to tell me how brave I was to take my baby out by myself. She said she was afraid to do much of anything with her kids when they were so young because she didn’t think she could handle everything by herself without her husband.

Geez, what would she have thought of…

All of our roadtrips to Maine...

and Massachusetts...

and Rhode Island...

when we didn’t even know where we were going to spend the night, and many times ended up sleeping in the car. We always brought our pillows just in case.

Or what about traveling to New Mexico, and hiking in the middle of nowhere, or driving our trusty rental car over 70 miles of dirt roads to explore the Anasazi ruins?


Or the white water rafting in NM and Colorado...


Or all the camping?? We camped along all 105 miles of Shenendoah National Park...


and so many other places in Colorado, New York, Maryland and Pennsylvania...

Even now, we love to set off and drive, just the two of us, and explore some local trail or historic site we haven't seen yet...

But probably the greatest thing about the past 15 years is watching her grow from an adorable, chubby-cheeked and curious baby into a beautiful young woman.

I can only hope that the next 25 years (God willing...) will be just as awesome, filled with more special memories made with my daughter, and now with my husband too :)

Butterflies on the Lilac Tree

Well I'm a little late in posting my photos for the most recent challenge over at The Round Robin Photo Challenges, but I'll put them up anyway. The theme was "Freaks of Nature", and if you couldn't find a freak of nature you could post photos of butterflies.

So I went out into the yard, to the big lilac tree to see what I could capture for the challenge. These aren't the best butterfly photos, but it was a fun challenge anyway...

A Whole Bunch of Bull

Wow, I can't believe so much time has passed since I've posted...

I have one more question to answer from Kiyotoe:

In what ways are you a typical Taurus and what ways are you different? (I'm a classic Taurus myself).

According to Wikipedia…
“Taurus is the second sign of the Zodiac and associated with material pleasure. Individuals born under this sign are thought to have a calm, patient, reliable, loyal, affectionate, sensuous, ambitious, and determined character, but one which is also prone to hedonism, laziness, inflexibility, jealousy, and antipathy.”

Hmm… let’s take it one at a time…

Material pleasure – this is an interesting one, because although I love to get a new shirt or a new pair of shoes as much as the next gal, I’ve spent so many years without money that even now that I have it, I have a hard time spending on myself. And if I do, I still prefer a funky $20 necklace to a “real” one for ten times that amount. I also end up buying cheap $10 sunglasses and sifting through the clearance racks if I buy anything at all. Spending the weekend at the mall really isn’t my thing, either. Although I do like to have a nice home, and I enjoy fixing it up and making it look nice.

Calm – definitely. I’ve been told that I have a calming effect on those around me. And at work, no matter how busy, how tight the deadlines, I am calm, cool and collected while everyone else is frazzled.

Patient – definitely. Perhaps even to a fault.

Reliable – I think so. I think I’m someone that people can count on. A little ADHD makes me forgetful, and so I live with To Do lists and sticky notes and reminder emails that I send from my work account to my home account and vice versa. So it isn’t always easy for me to be reliable, but I am.

Loyal – definitely. I’m fiercely loyal and protective, especially with those closest to me. My love and friendship are steadfast for those closest to me.

Affectionate – definitely. I’m always hugging my daughter and my husband, and even the dogs get lion’s shares of belly rubs and back scratches. I like to hold hands. I often reach out and rub Sean’s shoulder or massage the back of his neck while he’s driving or while we watch TV. Touch is very important to me. Kisses too. Especially neck kisses.

Sensuous – “Highly appreciative of the pleasures of sensation” (according to freedictionary.com) – absolutely. As mentioned above, touch is so important. Even the feel of soft, freshly-bleached sheets on the bed, or fuzzy socks when my feet are cold, or a cool nighttime breeze – love it! But there are the other senses too… My eye is constantly searching out aesthetically-pleasing visions, whether in nature, or in the way shadows play off a chair at an outdoor café, or in the crumbling bricks of the industrial part of town, or in the local art museums. I’m constantly moved to grab my camera. And I’m a huge music fan, nearly any kind of music. And food… yeah, big fan of food too :)

Ambitious – pretty much. I wouldn’t say I’m that person who fights tooth and nail to claw their way to the top of the corporate ladder. I do work hard each day while I’m here, and I take pride in a job well done. But I don’t arrive early and work late, nor do I worry about work once I leave the office. I think I was ambitious enough to reach a certain level, and now I’m happy where I am. On the other hand, I do work two other part-time jobs, so maybe I am ambitious…

Determined – definitely. I work hard for the things I want with the confidence that I can overcome any obstacles I encounter along the way. Even in little things I have an incredible amount of determination to draw upon. I can get a huge air conditioner from the basement to a second-floor bedroom and put it in the window by myself, and it’s not because I’m all that strong…

Hedonism – “Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.” Geez, I see nothing wrong with that - why does this word have a negative connotation anyway? Okay, another definition says “an ethical system that evaluates the pursuit of pleasure as the highest good.” Hmm… I don’t consider the pursuit of pleasure the highest good, nor is it the basis of my moral code. I value many things above it – love, respect, responsibility, right-and-wrong, truth, common sense, the Golden Rule. I’m probably much too giving of a person to be considered hedonistic, which I think leans toward selfishness. Selfish is not a word you could ever use to describe me.

Laziness – nope. As I mentioned above, I work 3 jobs. I take care of the needs of everyone in my house (including the pets), I take care of the house itself, the yard… I am busy from the moment I get out of bed in the morning til the moment I finally collapse on the couch at night.

Inflexibility – nope. I guess I can be stubborn about things that are important to me, but for the most part I’m a flexible, roll-with-the-punches kind of person. I can switch gears without much of a fuss. I’m more of a nurturer and a people-pleaser, and so I view being inflexible as a selfish act.

Jealousy – not really. I’m sure I can be as much as the next person. But I have no problem with my husband commenting on someone else’s good looks (I’ll comment too), or chatting with other women. I don’t get freaked out if he goes out with the guys without me. In general, I think I have enough healthy self-confidence not to feel overly competitive with others. I’m not one of those people that feels disappointed when someone else succeeds, or hates someone for being better-looking than I am. I would definitely be jealous, though, if I thought my husband felt an emotional or physical connection with someone else.

Antipathy – no, I don’t think this one applies either.

I’ve also heard that Taurus folks love nature and natural things, and that is undeniably me. I love gardening, hiking, picnics – anything outdoors. I help turtles across the road, nurse sick animals back to health, capture insects in the house and release them outside (I know – I take it a bit far).

I’ve read, too, that us bulls make decisions with much thought and consideration. Oh yeah. I never dive into anything. I usually have to investigate all the options, do a little research, and weigh the pros and cons before I make a decision. Which can be a little frustrating when I’m out to dinner and can’t decide what I want from the menu.

Another article I read said Taureans have a preoccupation with honesty, and wow, that is so true of me. I can forgive and forget a lot of things, but I’ll always remember that time I was deceived by a lie. And even if I wasn’t deceived – how dare you! I think I’m extremely truthful, and therefore I absolutely expect it from others. Because of that, I may even trust when I shouldn’t. But long, long ago I read this quote, which I thoroughly agree with:

“It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by them.” (Duc de la Rochefoucauld). I live by that.

My Magical Wardrobe

Another question from Kiyotoe (yes, I realize it's taking me forever to post my answers!)...

If you had your own magical wardrobe (like Lucy), describe what we'd see on the other side.

A magic wardrobe – what fun! The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe was one of my favorite books as a child and became one of my daughter's favorites when I read it to her.

As long as I’m crafting the basics of my hidden world, let’s start with the fundamentals:

There are people over there, but they are different. Children are not mistreated...

No one kicks dogs or abuses animals...

No one goes without necessities like food and shelter.

Ying and yang still exist on the other side, but inhumanity is absent: people have more respect for each other and for life in general.

Per standard Walt Disney animated classic rules, all animals know that I am intrinsically good, and I can communicate with them.

And perhaps I’ll even have an animal sidekick to pal around with, as most Disney heroines do. Well, I guess my dogs can fill that position. Especially now that I can talk to them.

When I take my dogs for a visit through the wardrobe, the big guy finds that his old joints don’t ache anymore, and the little guy’s cataracts disappear.

Maybe there can be some crazy flora and fauna I’ve never seen
and I can go nuts with my camera!

And there’s something in the air on the other side…
there’s a light sweet fragrance, and it stimulates endorphin release. Everyone and everything seems a bit happier. Maybe it’s coming from those crazy flowers…

Oh! And cupcakes aren’t fattening. They’re actually considered a health food.

When I was young, I was absolutely smitten with the idea of magic carpets, so they will be one of the standard modes of travel. The others will be bicycles and your own two feet.

Ah… perfect – a map, waiting there for me on the other side of the wardrobe.

Now I can go explore…

My Theme Song

Okay, it happened again.
Work got in the way.
It has been extremely busy around here!

But I still have some questions to answer from Kiyotoe...

The first time I heard "Dream On" by Aerosmith it became kind of a theme song for me (it was like 5 years ago, I know, I'm late).....what song could best serve as a "Tammie Jean" theme song and why?

The great thing about music is that it can be interpreted in many different ways depending on who's listening to it, their life experiences, the effect the music has on them. A song can mean something to one listener and something else to another.

There are many, many songs that speak to me. I love music... all kinds.

A friend of mine asked me recently what would be on my personal soundtrack. Funny - Dream On was on my list. The emotion is his voice is amazing, and the message of “dream until your dreams come true”… Ah, gotta love it. It’s actually been a favorite of mine since I got Greatest Hits on vinyl…geez, I think I was like 10 or 11 at the time.

But my soundtrack also included Here Comes the Sun by George Harrison. Whether the song is about getting through hard times in life and seeing things through to a better day, or if the message is simply “here comes the sun and it's alright”... Either way, it’s a definite on my soundtrack.

Another must-have is Right Here Right Now by Jesus Jones, a song (to me) about savoring the moment, living everyday, and feeling alive.

And I’ve always loved the Soup Dragons remake of I'm Free. That was my mantra all through college. “I’m free to do what I want any ol’ time.” (Plus I love the reggae break in the middle.)

But if I had to pick one main theme song to define who I am, it would have to be Drive by Incubus. It's probably not my favorite song of all time, but the words fit me. “Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there, with open arms and open eyes.” To me, it’s an affirmation to be your own person, to take the wheel and drive yourself instead of letting your fear decide your direction. Live life on your own terms. Don't be afraid to head against the current or let your fear of what "the hive" will think influence your decisions.

I’ve always made sure I've had both hands firmly on the wheel in my life:

• I had no money to go to college, but I worked out a payment plan with the Student Accounts office of a major university so I could pay my tuition on a monthly basis (by working three jobs).


• Although I excelled all my academic subjects I chose to pursue art, for which I’ve always had not only talent but passion.
  
• I had a child out of wedlock fully aware that I would be an “only parent”.


• I moved 3,000 miles away from home in the name of love and then subsequently back in the name of family a year later.


• I’ve road tripped alone with a highway map and no set plans, watched the sun set on a beach while sharing wine and cheese with strangers, and slept in the car when I couldn’t find a room. (Always travel with a pillow).


• I opted not to date for 7 years while I raised my daughter so that I could focus my attention on her and my career without the distractions of a new relationship.


• I traveled extensively, just my daughter and I, when I was absolutely broke, charging everything on the credit card in favor of making memories over practicality. (No, I’m no longer in debt, and I have photo albums full of the wonderful adventures I took during my “poor” years).


• I said “no” to a marriage proposal that didn’t feel right, and I said “yes” to one that did after only 6 months of dating.

I’ve never looked back with regret.

I’ve always been the one in the driver’s seat. This song is my song. Carpe diem.

S'more Questions

Today I'm going to start answering the questions crafted for me by my friend Kiyotoe...

What's one thing you learned from your parents that you hope to pass on to your daughter?

One word: determination. Both of my parents are hard workers, but my mother’s determination is unmatched.

My mother married my father, her high school sweetheart, and gave birth to my big brother when she was 19 years old. I came along 18 months later.

My parents had no money when I was growing up, but my mother worked hard to better herself (and her earning potential) every day.

When I was 5 she used to bring home vanilla milkshakes from her night shift job at McDonalds. She quickly moved up to working in a small restaurant, and then to a more upscale restaurant where she could earn better tips.

She worked many hours so that she could make some extra money to pay for classes at community college. Six years later she had her 2-year associate’s degree.

In the business world, she worked her way up from filing and data entry to a high-level executive assistant who can command an impressive salary.

But there were times that she would return to waitressing on the weekends to earn extra money, like when she wanted to send me to dance classes or summer camp. My mother has always been a hard worker with a can-do attitude, and she has been an amazing example of determination for me and my brothers.

I hope that I can be that example to my daughter as well. It's important to me that she realizes that with hard work and determination, no goals are beyond her reach.

Someone has given you the voicemail number for the little girl in We Should Have Been Friends (my favorite post to date). What is the message you leave for her?

Hello, my name is Tammie Jean. I’m sure this call seems out of the blue, but I remember you from when we were young children.

You may not recall that day we met on the playground while our fathers were playing softball, but I’ve never forgotten it. It was my first experience with the ugliness of prejudice and to my continuing disappointment, I bowed to it and decided not to play with you anymore.

I would like to tell you that I am truly sorry for the way I acted that day. I allowed my fear of what others might think to influence the way I treated you, behavior that is not only uncharacteristic to the way I am now, but even to the person that I was back then at 5 years old. I immediately regretted it and have ever since.

I’m hoping that you’ll allow me to take you out to lunch so we can sit and chat, and so I can apologize to you in person. Besides, I’ve always thought that we should have been friends, and I’m hoping that you’ll give me a second chance.