I dialed again. Panic was starting to overtake my normally calm demeanor. It was 10:30 at night. Why hadn’t I heard from her yet? Ringing… ringing… ringing… ringing… ringing…
“Hello?”
Damn it! I hung up the phone.
I sat. I stewed. I hit redial.
Ringing… ringing… ringing…
“Hello?”
My jaw clenched. My eyes narrowed. I tried to control my breathing.
Deep breaths, that’s it. You know everything is okay.
But where was she? How did I know she was okay? I’m not normally one to worry, but let’s face it - I was just hoping, trying to convince myself that she was alright. The truth was, I had no idea because I couldn’t speak to her.
I hit redial. I waited.
Her voice, converted into small packets of binary data, traveled from her cell phone to a nearby wireless antenna, switched from our wireless carrier to the landline phone system, sailed over the traditional phone network, into my house, into my ear…
“Hello?”
I hung up.
I think I’m gonna lose it.
I hit redial again. I waited.
“Hello?”
It was maddening. I probably called 30 times over the course of an hour.
I dialed again.
“Hello?”
Pause.
“Mandy?” I asked hesitantly.
“Hi, Mom!”
“Where are you?”
“I’m at Adam’s.”
“I’m coming to get you. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
When she got into the car, I asked how her day was. She told me about the mall, and who was there, and how they walked to Burger King and then to Adam’s house. I listened. I commented. I wasn’t going to slam her with a barrage of frustrations and scoldings and punishments the moment I saw her.
“By the way, where’s your cell phone?”
“In my bag.”
“I called about 30 times.”
“Sorry. It was downstairs. We were upstairs eating ice cream.”
“Listen, you know I need to be able to contact you. I need to know where you are.”
“I know.”
“And another thing…”
“Yeah?”
“You need to change your message.”
Laughter.
“Oh you think it’s funny, do you?”
More laughter.
“You have no idea how close that message had you to getting grounded.”
Roaring laughter now.
“I mean, the voicemail wasn’t even triggering consistently. Sometimes the message kicked in after 5 rings, sometimes after only three. And you always answer the phone the same way, so I kept thinking it was really you when I heard the Hello. And then when the Hello finally was real, I almost hung up on it because I thought it was the fake Hello.”
Choking, doubled-over laughter. “I wish I could record this conversation!”
“Have you noticed that every time I’ve called you recently, there’s a pause after you say Hello? I never know which freakin’ Hello I’m getting, you or your stupid message! I don’t know whether to speak or not. It’s making me insane.”
“But it’s so funny!”
“Change it. Every time I call you I feel like a damn fool.”
“Mom, admit it. It’s the best voicemail message ever.”
“Change it. I’m not kidding.”
Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years. ~Author Unknown
23 comments:
Holly crap. My daughter is going on 13. Is this what I have to look forward to? You can't make me...you can't make me...you can't make me.
Honestly, they start spending more and more time with their friends, and keeping track of their whereabouts becomes a full time job!
To be fair, though, the cell phone message was meant to drive her friends crazy. She felt bad afterwards that it had been annoying me all night.
On the odd chance that your daughter reads your blog and your comments, I will refrain from saying that I think that is the coolest voice mail greeting ever.
Oooops.
my mom still had me changing my voicemails when i was 23!!!
She didn't like that i had women recording my messages for me....."you've reached the Dragon but he is currently preoccupied with more important matters. Please try him again in the morning."
LOL.... I loved that one.
She should have to call in every hour and leave a message as punishment...
Haha, that's pretty funny, though, if I were in your position I'd be pretty ticked off as well.
Great quote about adolescence! (That's a tough word to spell.)
My dad used to have the SAME greeting "Hello". Drove me nuts! And the more it drove me nuts, the more he wanted to keep it.
Thanks for visiting my blog during my vacation. You're sweet. I'm back and making the rounds! Hugs.
Hi Travis! LOL no, Mandy doesn't read my blog. I agree, though, that the voicemail greeting is hilarious. If she were just a little more attentive to her cell phone I would let her keep it on there...
Hi Kiyotoe! Is lunchtime over?? And hey, moms will always put their two cents in - that's just the way it is ;)
Hi Scott! You've got it - she has to call in a lot more now to check in and let me know where she is.
Hi Silver! I actually thought it was funny until I couldn't get in touch with her. Then it was just mocking me!
Hi Dan! That's so funny that your dad did the same thing! I hope you had a nice vacation :)
Oh man - I always feel so stupid with those messages too!! But it is kinda funny. :)
Hi Erica! Oh it's totally funny. Except for when the joke's on me LOL!
Yeah, it's pretty good. I'll kill my kids if they ever do that to me!
Hi CS! Really, the annoying part was that she wasn't picking up her phone. There's a reason I'm paying that bill every month...
Perceived power without responsibility - that's adolescence.
Poor you.
Puss
I am so sorry for the angst her voice mail greeting left you Tammie, but you do know I am going to re-record mine tomorrow with the same greeting, right? I'm sorry.
I might also do my office voice mail while at it ;-)
Sorry, can't help myself.
Hi Puss! That description certainly sums it up nicely...
Hi Michael C! My disdain for her message had nothing to do with its comedic value... go ahead, have yourself some fun! Just remember to leave some dead air after the hello to allow callers time to speak for a while before the beep ;)
Hide the phone. When she asks where it is, just say "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?"
Your daughter has a swell sense of humor, Tammie! =)
Haha! Her message sounds so cool. But I can see why you were worried.
One of the reasons Mr bankerchick and I have phones is so I can call him if my train is late or early or whatever, I need a ride... So what happens every time I call, the phone is in the pocket of his pants hanging on the back of the bedroom door. I call and leave messages on the land line for him to pick up the phone! My kids I never have trouble getting thru to!
Hi Diesel! LOL! That might even evoke a combination of worry and frustration similar to mine... (but not really - kids will never get it until they have kids of their own).
Hi Houseband! Yes, she does. She makes me laugh every day.
Hi Lizza! It is pretty cool, actually. But parents always worry, don't they?
Hi Bankerchick! That's pretty funny. The phone just isn't a necessity to him, whereas for the kids it usually ranks somewhere between food and water (definitely above shelter).
OMG. I'm sooo not looking forward to the icky teen years.
I know one way that you might be able to get her to change it. You can tell her that your friends used to use that as their outgoing message (didn't all of us know someone who used to do that? I know I did.) Once she realizes that it's something that someone as old as her parents have done, it might take the cool-factor down a couple of notches.
Good luck!
I'm glad that when I was a teenager my parents couldn't get a hold of me on the cell phone. They just had to wait for me to come home, I was usually on time.
Hi Velvet! Ha! You're right. "That old joke has been around for years" would really make it much less cool.
Hi Malathionman! I did the same thing - I just came home on time. And my parents had noooooo idea what I was doing while I was out...
Post a Comment