Wednesday, May 9, 2007

S'more Questions

Today I'm going to start answering the questions crafted for me by my friend Kiyotoe...

What's one thing you learned from your parents that you hope to pass on to your daughter?
One word: determination. Both of my parents are hard workers, but my mother’s determination is unmatched.

My mother married my father, her high school sweetheart, and gave birth to my big brother when she was 19 years old. I came along 18 months later.

My parents had no money when I was growing up, but my mother worked hard to better herself (and her earning potential) every day.

When I was 5 she used to bring home vanilla milkshakes from her night shift job at McDonalds. She quickly moved up to working in a small restaurant, and then to a more upscale restaurant where she could earn better tips.

She worked many hours so that she could make some extra money to pay for classes at community college. Six years later she had her 2-year associate’s degree.

In the business world, she worked her way up from filing and data entry to a high-level executive assistant who can command an impressive salary.

But there were times that she would return to waitressing on the weekends to earn extra money, like when she wanted to send me to dance classes or summer camp. My mother has always been a hard worker with a can-do attitude, and she has been an amazing example of determination for me and my brothers.

I hope that I can be that example to my daughter as well. It's important to me that she realizes that with hard work and determination, no goals are beyond her reach.

Someone has given you the voicemail number for the little girl in We Should Have Been Friends (my favorite post to date). What is the message you leave for her?

Hello, my name is Tammie Jean. I’m sure this call seems out of the blue, but I remember you from when we were young children.
You may not recall that day we met on the playground while our fathers were playing softball, but I’ve never forgotten it. It was my first experience with the ugliness of prejudice and to my continuing disappointment, I bowed to it and decided not to play with you anymore.

I would like to tell you that I am truly sorry for the way I acted that day. I allowed my fear of what others might think to influence the way I treated you, behavior that is not only uncharacteristic to the way I am now, but even to the person that I was back then at 5 years old. I immediately regretted it and have ever since.
I’m hoping that you’ll allow me to take you out to lunch so we can sit and chat, and so I can apologize to you in person. Besides, I’ve always thought that we should have been friends, and I’m hoping that you’ll give me a second chance.

16 comments:

Scott from Oregon said...

The energy and determination of some women actually flabberghasts me...

Where does all that energy come from?

Lizza said...

Your mother sounds like a most admirable woman. And so do you!

That hypothetical voicemail is touching. I hope she gets to hear it someday. But even if she doesn't, the positive vibes it projects are certain to touch somebody else.

Kiyotoe said...

great answers Tammie Jean.

Your mom reminds me of my mom and grandmother. I think the number of strong women to strong men that i know personally is so disproportional.

As for the little girl, it's too bad you can't find her, i bet the inner kids in you both would have a ball together again.

Michael C said...

These Q and A sessions just keep getting better!

Akelamalu said...

I love the voicemail you left.

Tammie Jean said...

Hi Scott! I think it may be, for some, part of the maternal instinct. Mothers want their children to have things better or easier than they did. I know that my mother, who grew up in a tiny apartment with 7 children, was overjoyed when she could give us kids a house with a yard and our own rooms. I think it's part of taking care of the family. I know it is for me.

Hi Lizza! Thank you! My mother is definitely someone that I look up to. And I like the thought that my "positive vibes" might touch someone else - thanks for that too :)

Hi Kiyotoe! Yes, there are a lot of strong women out there - lucky for you to have two of them to watch over you :)
And I agree, it would be nice to reconnect with the little girl. I wish I knew her name.
Thanks for the great questions! More answers to come...

Hi Michael C! And thanks! I'm enjoying them too :)

Hi Akelamalu! Thank you. It would be nice to be able to make ammends with her, but I think telling my story may be the best I can do.

robkroese said...

People like your mom amaze me. Actually, people like my mom amaze me. Some women just seem to be able to keep going no matter what.

Tammie Jean said...

Hi Diesel! Yes, you're right - they do keep going no matter what. Like energizer bunnies :)

CS said...

That was an especially nice tribute to your Mom for Mother's Day. And Happy Mother's Day to you!

houseband00 said...

Happy Mother's Day, Tammie! =)

Kiyotoe said...

Happy Mother's Day Tammie J!

Julie said...

One thing I love about your blog is the honesty you display about how you see your past. It's so refreshing to be at an age where we truly CAN learn from it. And I also love the pictures. You really let people in with real pictures from your life. It always brings me back.

Dan said...

Sounds like we had very similar parents. No money. Since dad died just before Christmas, Mom is left with nothing but debt. But we're trying to help her the best we can.

Sweet post. Nice tribute!

Scott from Oregon said...

You OK?

Nikki Neurotic said...

Tammie Jean, I hope everything is okay with you. It's been a long time since you've posted...or even visited blogs...I'm getting a little worried about you!

Tammie Jean said...

Hi CS! Wow, Mother's Day was quite a while ago, wasn't it? Sorry for the delay... happy belated Mother's Day!

Hi Houseband! Thank you so much!

Thank you Kiyotoe! I wish I'd been able to come back sooner and get all these nice messages!!

Jules - thank you so much! Wow, what a great compliment.

Dan - Yeah, there was no money, but it was a great childhood. We always had a lot of fun. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad... that must be a big loss to your family. Hugs to you...

Scott - yes, I'm okay. Sorry to disappear. The only time I usually have to come and play is during work hours, and when work gets too busy I don't even have time to sign on and announce that I'm still alive, unfortunately. Hopefully things will calm down a bit over the summer...

Hi Silver! Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't mean to keep everyone wondering. But I appreciate your concern... it's nice to know I was missed :)