In doing so, I’m gaining new perspective on my grandparents, Ida and Joe, their relationship with each other, and the kind of people they were as young, vivacious teenagers “going steady.”
Except they weren’t both teenagers. It turns out that my grandfather was much older than my grandmother, and this caused some problems for them when the age difference came to light.
Apparently, my grandmother got into trouble with her parents one night when she stayed out too late. In response, my grandfather hand-delivered a letter of apology to Ida’s mother.
Here is Mrs. L’s response:
Dear Sir,
I received your kind letter and I am sorry to say I did give Ida Mae a couple of cracks with the switch I had. I am not well and it is a worry on me when she is out late at night as I would lose my life if anything happened to her. I knew you didn’t know her age and that is why I kept talking to her all the time about coming in early. Millie told me not to worry a lot because you were a nice fellow but you know how mothers are. Now you said you liked her a lot and I know you are a good sport or you wouldn’t of wrote me this letter and I am going to trust you. I’ll let her go out with you and speak to you at any time but Joe please have her back at the house at 9:30 and don’t be afraid of anyone saying anything to you. So don’t feel bad about it, as Ida Mae knows it is her fault. She should of told you her right age.
There is no more explaining to do. Everything is O.K.
Mrs. L
P.S. Joe next week is the black out so she has to be in at 9 o’clock.
My grandfather was still troubled by the whole situation, and so he did what many did back at that time in New York. He wrote a letter to Doris Blake.
Doris Blake was a syndicated columnist for the New York Daily News. In addition to her Beauty Hints column, she also wrote a daily column, first called Doris Blake’s Answers and later Doris Blake’s Love Answers. This was one of the first advice columns to employ the letter-and-response format that is so common today.
She was also the author of many informational pamphlets, including Getting and Keeping Boys Interested and How to Reduce: New Waistlines for Old, and several books geared toward women and women’s issues.
June 2, 1942
Dear Miss Blake,
I have been going with this girl, whom I learned to love very much, for a little over half a year. When we met she told me she was seventeen. I was twenty, but didn’t know whether she knew it or not. She now reveals her age as fourteen, but undoubtedly looks to be seventeen or over. The difference in our ages is about seven years. I would like to know whether I should stay with her, as I would, disregarding the age or should I try to forget her. Your answer may mean our happiness later on. Being that I love her as I do, I try not to show it so that she’ll lose interest in me.
Thank you.
Sincerely yours,
Joe
I don’t know whether this letter ever appeared in her column, but she did send a letter in response, post-marked two days later:
June 4, 1942
Dear Friend,
The girl is much too young too young to think seriously of any young man. You should seek the companionship of young women closer to your own age.
Sincerely,
Doris Blake
Luckily, my grandfather did not take her advice. Within a month he was shipped off to Camp Wheeler, Georgia, to prepare to fight in WWII. The rest of this big box I have contains their correspondence over the next several years while my grandfather served in Italy and North Africa.
When my grandfather returned in 1946, they married and bought a house . My grandmother was 17 at the time, and during the war years this was a common age to get married. My father was born in 1949, the first of 5 children.
And the rest is history.
Except they weren’t both teenagers. It turns out that my grandfather was much older than my grandmother, and this caused some problems for them when the age difference came to light.
Apparently, my grandmother got into trouble with her parents one night when she stayed out too late. In response, my grandfather hand-delivered a letter of apology to Ida’s mother.
Here is Mrs. L’s response:
Dear Sir,
I received your kind letter and I am sorry to say I did give Ida Mae a couple of cracks with the switch I had. I am not well and it is a worry on me when she is out late at night as I would lose my life if anything happened to her. I knew you didn’t know her age and that is why I kept talking to her all the time about coming in early. Millie told me not to worry a lot because you were a nice fellow but you know how mothers are. Now you said you liked her a lot and I know you are a good sport or you wouldn’t of wrote me this letter and I am going to trust you. I’ll let her go out with you and speak to you at any time but Joe please have her back at the house at 9:30 and don’t be afraid of anyone saying anything to you. So don’t feel bad about it, as Ida Mae knows it is her fault. She should of told you her right age.
There is no more explaining to do. Everything is O.K.
Mrs. L
P.S. Joe next week is the black out so she has to be in at 9 o’clock.
My grandfather was still troubled by the whole situation, and so he did what many did back at that time in New York. He wrote a letter to Doris Blake.
Doris Blake was a syndicated columnist for the New York Daily News. In addition to her Beauty Hints column, she also wrote a daily column, first called Doris Blake’s Answers and later Doris Blake’s Love Answers. This was one of the first advice columns to employ the letter-and-response format that is so common today.
She was also the author of many informational pamphlets, including Getting and Keeping Boys Interested and How to Reduce: New Waistlines for Old, and several books geared toward women and women’s issues.
June 2, 1942
Dear Miss Blake,
I have been going with this girl, whom I learned to love very much, for a little over half a year. When we met she told me she was seventeen. I was twenty, but didn’t know whether she knew it or not. She now reveals her age as fourteen, but undoubtedly looks to be seventeen or over. The difference in our ages is about seven years. I would like to know whether I should stay with her, as I would, disregarding the age or should I try to forget her. Your answer may mean our happiness later on. Being that I love her as I do, I try not to show it so that she’ll lose interest in me.
Thank you.
Sincerely yours,
Joe
I don’t know whether this letter ever appeared in her column, but she did send a letter in response, post-marked two days later:
June 4, 1942
Dear Friend,
The girl is much too young too young to think seriously of any young man. You should seek the companionship of young women closer to your own age.
Sincerely,
Doris Blake
Luckily, my grandfather did not take her advice. Within a month he was shipped off to Camp Wheeler, Georgia, to prepare to fight in WWII. The rest of this big box I have contains their correspondence over the next several years while my grandfather served in Italy and North Africa.
When my grandfather returned in 1946, they married and bought a house . My grandmother was 17 at the time, and during the war years this was a common age to get married. My father was born in 1949, the first of 5 children.
And the rest is history.
23 comments:
What a great post, Tammie Jean!
Family history is amazing, and having your grandparents' letters must be so surreal; you're holding tangible parts of their lives.
What a lovely story, glad your grandpa didn't take the columnist's advice!
Hi Lizza! Yes, I'm so glad I have those letters. I'm even learning about both sets of great-granparents, and great-aunts and -uncles on that side of the family through the letters they wrote to my grandfather. It's as if they're becoming real people to me, instead of just an old black-n-white photo.
Such a big project though... I see lots of typing in my future!
Wow...having a little piece of family history like that is interesting for so many reasons!
Steve~
That is so cool. I know nothing about my family history. Reminds me of Antiques Roadshow with all the stories behind everything...
Hi Steve! Yes, I think so too. During my grandfather's last few years of life, I wrote down many of the stories he used to tell about the war and life with my grandmother. The letters are an amazing companion to all that verbal history.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hi Erica! See, that's what I always enjoyed about Antiques Roadshow - the interesting stories attached to everything. I was always more interested in "real people" history than textbook history.
Thanks for visiting :)
Pretty gosh darn cool.
My father's father died a lonely alcoholic and that's what I knew when I was young. Later on, like you, I discovered he was an amazing man, well-liked by everyone, who was a greyhound busdriver... he owned his own gas station... he rebuilt an airplane once... lots of stuff that made me see my heritage a bit differently.
Wow, that is very neat stuff. I've been reading and watching a lot about WWII lately. I stopped to think last night how fascinating it was that my parents actually got to live through all of it and how I can still talk to them about it!
Very interesting! It seems like out of a mocie but it's your family history. Pretty cool when you think about it. My Grandpa wrote out a sort of autobiography before he died, but it doesn't capture anywhere near the interesting person he was. Those letters you have are a treasure.
This is some great source material for writing. Loved reading the posted letters.
Hi Scott! I bet you were pretty surprised to hear about all those things your grandfather did - rebuilding an airplane is impressive! It makes me think of a quote: Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing (Abe Lincoln).
Hi Michael C! Yes, that is cool that you can still talk to them about it! I think hearing about it from someone who lived through it makes it so much more tangible.
My grandfather told me that the German's used to throw shredded aluminum out of the windows of their planes. This would make the radar pulse like crazy as if there was a bunch of them, and of course make it impossible to tell which blip on the radar was the real plane.
I thought that was pretty cool, and I never read about it in my history books.
Hi Homie Bear! That's great that your grandfather wrote an autobiography.
I was always writing when my grandfather told me stories. My idea was to write down as much as I could, and then maybe add to it by talking to other people too. I was hoping what I wrote would trigger people's memories. Maybe you could add to your grandfather's story by talking to those that really knew him.
Hi Tammie,
Beautiful post! =)
Something tells me that I should share this with you.
Enjoy! =)
That was really nice, I love stories like that.
My grandmother was married at 16 or 17 as well, though, unfortanately the marriage didn't last.
You are a wonderful writer.
Hi Houseband! Wow, what a beautiful song, not to mention that it's the absolute perfect soundtrack for my post! I'm not familiar with Diane Krall... I'll have to check her out. Thanks so much!
Hi Silverneurotic!
Isn't it funny how times change? To be married at 17 seems soooo young! I didn't get married until I was 34. I guess I would have been considered an old maid in my grandparent's time!
Hi Travis! Well well, you sure do know how to make a girl smile ;) Thank you very much! That's an awesome compliment!
I envy you. This is so cool. I love history; and this sort of textured document puts you in such close touch with an era that is slipping away from public consciousness. Very cool post. Thanks
What a great thing to inherit. Typing those letters into a file is awesome - you know the originals will disintegrate over time and this will preserve the history. Good story (except for the part about the switch, which made me sad), and good that your grandfather disregarded the advice columnist.
Hi Stewart! I love history too, and I couldn't have been more excited when I got my hands on this box of wartime letters. It's amazing to me that no one else in the family was even remotely interested in them. I didn't expect to inherit them unchallenged, but it looks like I did :)
Hi CSL! Yes, I agree with you - the part about the switch wasn't so nice. But a testament to how much times have changed is the fact that I don't even know what a "switch" looks like. I obviously have an idea what it is from the context, but thankfully (hopefully) we do socially evolve.
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