A Night in Venice, Part 1

I am waiting in line behind a gaggle of happy couples. Happy couples holding hands, kissing, waiting in unmasked anticipation to embark on an adventure that will surely become a treasured memory. One that will be filed under the category of Most Romantic Night Ever.

I am waiting in line with all of the happy couples, and I am alone.

****

My husband and I are in Venice. What a place to begin our honeymoon! Venice is just oozing with romance. It pulsates romance from every street lamp, from every narrow passageway and footbridge, from the glistening moonlit canals to the sparkling puddles in St. Mark’s Square. We are giddy with excitement as we make our way from the water taxi, through the square, and over to the gondola station.

We are about halfway to the front of the line, where couples are being assisted into the gondolas two by two. They are being covered with thick blankets, as it’s a bit chilly this evening, and they are offered a bottle of champagne to share.

We are holding hands as we inch our way closer to Honeymoon Adventure #2. Adventure #1 has already taken place back in the cabin on the cruise ship ;).

Because my husband has the bladder of a small child, he needs to find the facilities. As soon as we’re done? No, pretty much now. Immediately. Even though we are on line waiting for our gondola ride? Yeah, sorry.

The translator suggests he try one of the restaurants or hotels nearby. Sean dashes off down a passageway and across a bridge.

The line seems to be moving pretty quickly. I am almost to the front of the line, so I let a few couples go ahead of me. And then a few more.

Eventually, I just step out of the line and wait.

*****

Sean is running along the canal, looking for a place to relieve himself. There are shops here and there, but none offering a restroom. Many are already closed for the evening.

Finally, he finds the entryway to the Hotel Cavalletto. He dashes inside.

“Bathroom? Restroom? Water Closet? Loo?”

He is directed to the back of the building with a dismissive gesture and rolling eyes.

When he sees the sign on the door, he is so relieved! Well, almost relieved. He is already unbuttoning his pants. They have fallen to his thighs by the time he bursts through the door.

There are many astonished eyes looking at him in awe. Venetian eyes. Eyes that are not accustomed to seeing such a sight so abruptly thrust upon them.

The room falls silent.

Faces turn red.

Time stands still.

Sean is generally commando. And apparently, Cucina does not mean bathroom.

*****

The line is getting shorter and shorter. Only 6 couples left. Where is my husband?

Finally I see him, dashing back across the bridge and down the passageway towards me. As we rejoin the line, I realize that there is an even number of couples ahead of us. As they file into the gondolas, two by two, it looks as if we’ll get a gondola all to ourselves!

And do you know what that means? Well, besides the obvious increase in our gondola ride romance factor.

That means we have a bottle of champagne all to ourselves.


Tomorrow… part two.