A Night in Venice, Part 2

If you missed yesterday’s post, it was Part 1 of my Venice story. In it, my husband flashes his package for a bunch of awe-stricken Venetians in the kitchen of the Hotel Cavelletto. You should check it out.

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So it seems that my husband’s weak bladder has resulted in a stroke of good luck for us. As the last couple on line, instead of sharing our gondola with another couple, we have one all to ourselves.

We snuggle together under a plaid woolen blanket at the back of the craft, just beneath where Roberto, our gondolier, is perched. Sean uncorks the champagne and pours us each a glass. We toast to each other and drink heartily. This ride will only last 30 minutes. We need to drink up!

Besides, it is a little chilly, and the champagne will give us that nice warm feeling.

“Salute!” (sa-lootay) Roberto calls out. Cheers!

We offer some champagne to Roberto, but he confesses that he has already imbibed plenty of vino prior to arriving at work this evening. He removes a bottle of red from his coat and takes a hearty swig. This should be fun!

“You are honeymooners? Congratulazioni!” He tells us.

As the caravan of gondolas exits the station, Roberto is already causing a commotion.

“Antoniooooooooo!” he calls up to another gondolier in a very Tarzan-ian manner. “Antoniooooo! Te amooooooo!!!”

Yes, he is amusing himself by telling Antonio that he loves him. I can’t be sure, but Antonio seems to be replying to shut the hell up.

It is a beautiful night. As Roberto maneuvers through the narrow canals, he is teaching us some basic Italian.

“Say ‘te amo’ (I love you) to your bella,” he tells Sean.

“Tay yah-moah.”

“No! ‘TE AMO!’ Say it like you are Italiano!”

We both have to practice this a bit, but finally we earn a smile and a “Bravo!” from the young, drunken Roberto. He pats Sean on the back heartily.

Young Venetian woman are smiling from the windows above the canal.

“Buona sera” (good evening) he calls up to them. “Come ti chiami?” (what is your name?) The girls are giggling. Turns out Roberto is quite a flirt. He is writing down their phone numbers as he steers us around the corner and out of sight of the pretty girls.

Farther down, there are more cute girls standing on a bridge. Roberto is making plans to meet them for drinks after our ride. “A che ora?” (what time?) they call. This guy is good.

We are several glasses in. Is this the best champagne ever?

We are absolutely drunk by the time we enter the Great Canal. Roberto is pointing out places of interest. We are not entirely comprehending what he is saying. It’s all just too awesome.

These photos are a very good representation of what it all looked like through our fuzzy eyes.

We are all singing now, all three of us. Roberto has taught us a song that remains in our hearts to this day.

Ciao Venezia, Ciao Venezia, Ciao Venezia, Ciao Ciao Ciao!!
Ciao Venezia, Ciao Venezia, Ciao Venezia, Ciao!

Ciao can mean hello or goodbye, kind of like aloha. So I’m not sure if we are saying hello or goodbye to Venice. All I know is that this all seems like a dream.

So every few minutes, instead of pinching myself, I turn to Sean and shout “We’re in effin’ Venice Fother Mucker!” And then we are singing again.

We return to the gondola station, bid farewell to our Roberto, and sneak him a nice tip so that he doesn’t have to pool it with the other gondoliers.

“Grazie! Buon viaggio!” (Thank you! Have a nice trip!)

And now, onto our next mission. Our plan is so simple, yet we feel it is the absolute pinnacle of brilliance. Yes, we have downed a bottle of champagne. So naturally, here’s what we need to do: We need to find ourselves some more alcohol.

We find a small café in St. Mark’s Square. Funny, St. Mark's Square looked a little fuzzy too.

After perusing the menu for a while, we decide on red wine.

When they serve us the wine, they bring us a tasty little cracker assortment for free. We feel this is most certainly due to the fact that we are exuding coolness and an understated yet clearly evident importance. Perhaps we are some sort of royalty. We are sure that they do not do this for just anyone. We are probably experiencing illusions of grandeur at this point. No matter.

I am taking goofy pictures, as always. Sean says he’ll be right back.

“I have to find the Cucina.”

“Don’t you mean la toilette?"

“No, kitchen first. It’s more fun that way.”